As I saw down to write this post last night I wasn’t sure where to start on it, or whether it was even something I needed to talk about. When I looked up from my blank screen and saw the pile of sweet treats I had baked to keep myself busy, I realized that I couldn’t not write about it.
Everybody handles grief differently. I’m not sure that any one method is better than the rest, but what I’ve realized this week is that you never really know how you will react to it until it happens.
My earliest memories of my grandfather involve the smell of his tobacco pipe, finding golf balls seemingly everywhere in his house and eating nothing but Nutella sandwiches when I would visit. He was already an old man by the time I met him and part of me assumed he would just be old forever. I was wrong.
It took me hours to process what his passing really meant for me, and perhaps most devastatingly how it would affect my mother and her siblings who had just lost their last parent. I had myself a good cry, bemoaned the injustices of the world and then took to my kitchen to work through my feelings and clear my head.
I’m not sure how to quantify my head clearing but I made it through two batches of macarons, basil shortbread and banana streusel muffins before I felt calm and centered again.
The streusel topping on these muffins makes them incredibly sweet so they’re probably best served as an afternoon snack rather than breakfast food. Unless of course you love sweets all day long like myself in which case definitely eat these for breakfast.
Muffin Ingredients (adapted from a recipe by The Rustic Willow)
- 1 ½ Cup (185g) flour
- 1 Teaspoon baking soda
- 1 Teaspoon baking powder
- ¼ Teaspoon salt
- ½ Teaspoon nutmeg
- ½ Teaspoon cinnamon
- 3 Ripe mashed bananas
- ½ Cup (115g) granulated sugar
- ¼ Cup (50g) light brown sugar
- ⅓ Cup (57g) butter, melted and cooled slightly
- 1 Large egg
- 1 Teaspoon vanilla
- ⅓ Cup light brown sugar
- 2 Tablespoons flour
- 1 Tablespoon butter, softened
- Preheat the oven to 375 degrees
- Whisk flour, baking soda, baking powder, salt, nutmeg and cinnamon in a medium bowl
- Mix with an electric mixer the bananas, sugars, butter
- Once combined, mix in egg and vanilla
- Pour dry ingredients into wet
- Pour into prepared molds
- In a small bowl combine streusel ingredients, using your hands if needed to mix the flour and sugar into the butter
- Divide streusel over muffin batter
- Bake for 18 minutes or until a toothpick inserted into the middle comes out clean