If you’re like me, you tend to follow a lot of different types of people on Instagram. Between my friends, family and bloggers, my feed keeps me entertained for hours (when I let it).
First row: @minimauritius, @nicecream, @stylethegirl; Second row: @blacktapnyc, @carriebradshawlied, @femalefoodie; Third row: @amberfillerup, @laurenmagenta, @whitb624
Someone recently asked me what my absolute favorite dessert was. I didn’t have an answer for them but I immediately starting wondering: if I was a dessert, which one would I be? I’m not sure how I got there but once the idea was in my head, I couldn’t stop thinking about it.
Rather than boring all of you with an essay on why I’m creme brûlée, I thought I’d examine some of the characters many of us see on Instagram every day and figure out which dessert they would be.
I pulled some photos to help illustrate these different characters. This doesn’t mean that I think these accounts are exactly the stereotype I’m using their photo to illustrate, nor that that would be a bad thing. They just happen to be pretty photos from accounts I love to follow.
Okay, now that all of that is out of the way, let’s jump right into the 7 types of people in your Instagram feed and their respective dessert!
The Basic Babe
Lauren is an donut expert but occasionally she branches out and eats other things, like macarons!
We all have a little bit of this in each of us but there are some people who are 100% basic. Their Instagram feed is entirely sunsets, latte art and puppies. Their content is eye-catching (if maybe a little generic) so their dessert pairing is macarons! Beautiful and trendy, the macarons thrive on Instagram. I’m guilty of not being able to scroll past a picture of a macaron without liking it. Also pictures of puppies.
Permanently on Vacation
Dessert: key lime pie
My amazing friend Milja from high school is living that beach life with her beautiful family over at @minimauritus
We all have at least one friend like this. Whether they live near the beach or just jet off to some exotic locale every other week, they seem to be permanently on vacation. Stalking their feed inspires you to think about booking your next trip but your mojito won’t get half as many likes as theirs. Much like this friend, key lime pie immediately makes you think of vacation, sunshine or at the very least Florida. It’s light, airy, and the citrus treat is best enjoyed in warm weather near the water.
Dessert: Ice cream sandwich
Remember Whitney from Chris’ season of The Bachelor? She and I have the same wedding photog (👋 Carly!)
At this point I never know which half of the couple posted the picture because both of their feeds are primarily photos of them together. They go on so many fun dates, it makes me want to up my game, or at the very least convince Colin to take more pictures when we go out. Like the ice cream sandwich, both elements of the pair work on their own, but they work so well together we might as well just accept their unison and always enjoy them together.
Young and Popular
Dessert: Over the top milkshake
Instagram wasn’t around when I was in college so nothing makes me feel quite as old as seeing one of my younger acquaintances getting hundreds and hundreds of likes on a photo. They are so effortlessly popular, which is largely a product of their generation engaging far more on Instagram than previous ones. Much like these young trendsetters, over-the-top milkshakes are ‘like’ machines on Instagram. I dare you to post a photo of one and see it take off.
Dessert: Protein smoothie
Margret of Style The Girl is mom goals x 10000.
We get it, you work out. Whether you follow Cross Fit junkies or lulu-wearing yogis, you know the type. As someone who never looks photo-ready before or after working out, I’ve never fully understood the mirror selfie in workout clothes. If you can pull it off though, more power to you. Since this group is all about the healthy options, their dessert pairing is a protein smoothie! Perfect for loading up post workout. Or instead of working out. Either way.
Dessert: Puff pastry
Most of the friends I’ve made through blogging in DC have been fashion and lifestyle bloggers so my Instagram feed is filled with style savants. They are poised, intentional with their feed cohesiveness and aspirational for those of us who still consider oversized flannel over leggings appropriate work apparel. Puff Pastry is stylish, impressive and many consider it to be fancy, even if most puff pastry recipes are fairly easy to recreate.
Dessert: Cream puffs
Before I visit a new city, I always check to see if Brooke and the other Female Foodies have done a roundup to best spots to eat at.
As someone who posts primarily food on my Instagram, I’ve discovered there is a divide between people who post food from restaurants and people who post food they make. I admire people who lug their cameras to restaurants and have the patience to photograph their food before digging in. Cream puffs are beautiful but they take attention and patience to make. The result is beautiful and delicious and so worth it though.
If you made it to the end of this post and are hungry, I’m sorry. But in a more real sense I’m not. What dessert would you be?